I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
