I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
