U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
