it's too hot outside to masturbate.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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