I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
