i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
