the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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