Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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