I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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