Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
