can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
