So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
