well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
