I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
