I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
