i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
