My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
