once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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