Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
