Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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