Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
