You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
