I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
