Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
