i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
