Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
