wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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