I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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