Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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