living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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