Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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