and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
