The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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