Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Are my feet made of real feet?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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