Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
