I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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