The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
