And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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