After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
