I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
