Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
