If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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