my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
