K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
