pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
