Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
