just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
