North Korea, Best Korea!
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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