So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
