judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
