I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
